We are all adults, and we all know about respect, communication and consent. In most cases, we’re able to navigate through those things in a way that is positive for all involved. This page is not about that, this page is about when it goes wrong.
Examples
The following is a small sampling of things that you shouldn’t have to experience: Being told to act or dress in a certain way. Being told your opinion doesn’t matter due to who you are. Having others overstepping boundaries and then downplaying it. Uninvited massages, hugs or touching. Ogling. Being cornered. Being asked uninvited intimate questions. Demeaning comments camouflaged as “jokes”. Getting unwanted gifts. Getting xenophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, or homophobic comments. Getting excessive compliments. Being maneuvered into diffuse feelings of guilt… The unwanted situation can be physical, verbal, psycho-social (being ostracized, subjected to false rumours…), through text or images. These situations can have sexual undertones, but not necessarily, it can also be about power or other things. These things can happen to both men and women.
The cause doesn’t matter
There might be many reasons why an unpleasant situation occurred. It could be a joke that went wrong, a cultural clash, old-fashion “values”, reading the situation wrong, poor impulse control… anything from honest mistakes to malicious intentions. It doesn’t matter what the intention was, we have a zero tolerance. No one here should accept to be made smaller or feel vulnerable. Don’t be silent, it is important that you communicate your discomfort. Sometimes it might seem easier to push it aside, than to say something, but please say something anyway. You have as much right to learn in a safe environment as everyone else.
In an exercise
If something happens during an exercise that makes you feel smaller, unsafe or harassed – or if you see it happening to another participant – then bring it immediately to the attention of the instructor. Do not hesitate. If a honest mistake was made, it’s good to sort it out immediately, and the same if something more malicious was at play.
Between classes
If something happens between classes that makes you feel smaller, unsafe or harassed – or if you see it happening to another participant – then bring it immediately to the attention of an instructor. If no one is within view, call someone. It doesn’t matter what time it is.
Tom Stone’s mobile: +46 703095168.
Leif Olberius’s mobile: +46 70605 95 76.
Alternatives
In case it is the instructor that makes you feel smaller or unsafe, it is quite understandable if you feel you can’t talk with an instructor. In that case, talk with the school administration. You can call Ellen Mabrouk on her mobile: +46 72 165 70 11
Or, call the police. To file a report, call the police on 114 14, or in an emergency: 112
Finally
Knowing what to do when things go wrong makes it easier to feel safe and happy when everything goes right. And this should feel like a safe space, a place where you can play and experiment. And don’t feel you have to wait for any potential harassment in order to talk with the instructors. You are welcome to talk about far smaller issues too. Communication is always welcome!